Thank you, Varden." And so, with a mighty show of humility andforgiveness, she folded her hands, and looked round again, with asmile which plainly said, "If you desire to see the first and foremost among female martyrs, here she is, on view!"
This little incident, illustrative though it was of Mrs Varden"sextraordinary sweetness and amiability, had so strong a tendency tocheck the conversation and to disconcert all parties but thatexcellent lady, that only a few monosyllables were uttered untilEdward withdrew; which he presently did, thanking the lady of thehouse a great many times for her condescension, and whispering inDolly"s ear that he would call on the morrow, in case there shouldhappen to be an answer to the note--which, indeed, she knew withouthis telling, as Barnaby and his friend Grip had dropped in on theprevious night to prepare her for the visit which was thenterminating.
Gabriel, who had attended Edward to the door, came back with hishands in his pockets; and, after fidgeting about the room in a veryuneasy manner, and casting a great many sidelong looks at MrsVarden (who with the calmest countenance in the world was fivefathoms deep in the Protestant Manual), inquired of Dolly how shemeant to go. Dolly supposed by the stage-coach, and looked at herlady mother, who finding herself silently appealed to, dived downat least another fathom into the Manual, and became unconscious ofall earthly things.
"Martha--" said the locksmith.
"I hear you, Varden," said his wife, without rising to the surface.
"I am sorry, my dear, you have such an objection to the Maypole andold John, for otherways as it"s a very fine morning, and Saturday"snot a busy day with us, we might have all three gone to Chigwell inthe chaise, and had quite a happy day of it."
Mrs Varden immediately closed the Manual, and bursting into tears,requested to be led upstairs.
"What is the matter now, Martha?" inquired the locksmith.
To which Martha rejoined, "Oh! don"t speak to me," and protested inagony that if anybody had told her so, she wouldn"t have believedit.
"But, Martha," said Gabriel, putting himself in the way as she wasmoving off with the aid of Dolly"s shoulder, "wouldn"t havebelieved what? Tell me what"s wrong now. Do tell me. Upon mysoul I don"t know. Do you know, child? Damme!" cried the locksmith, plucking at his wig in a kind of frenzy, "nobody doesknow, I verily believe, but Miggs!"
"Miggs," said Mrs Varden faintly, and with symptoms of approachingincoherence, "is attached to me, and that is sufficient to drawdown hatred upon her in this house. She is a comfort to me,whatever she may be to others."
"She"s no comfort to me," cried Gabriel, made bold by despair.
"She"s the misery of my life. She"s all the plagues of Egypt inone."
"She"s considered so, I have no doubt," said Mrs Varden. "I wasprepared for that; it"s natural; it"s of a piece with the rest.
When you taunt me as you do to my face, how can I wonder that youtaunt her behind her back!" And here the incoherence coming onvery strong, Mrs Varden wept, and laughed, and sobbed, andshivered, and hiccoughed, and choked; and said she knew it was veryfoolish but she couldn"t help it; and that when she was dead andgone, perhaps they would be sorry for it--which really under thecircumstances did not appear quite so probable as she seemed tothink--with a great deal more to the same effect. In a word, shepassed with great decency through all the ceremonies incidental to such occasions; and being supported upstairs, was deposited in ahighly spasmodic state on her own bed, where Miss Miggs shortlyafterwards flung herself upon the body.
The philosophy of all this was, that Mrs Varden wanted to go toChigwell; that she did not want to make any concession orexplanation; that she would only go on being implored and entreatedso to do; and that she would accept no other terms. Accordingly,after a vast amount of moaning and crying upstairs, and muchdamping of foreheads, and vinegaring of temples, and hartshorningof noses, and so forth; and after most pathetic adjurations fromMiggs, assisted by warm brandy-and-water not over-weak, and diversother cordials, also of a stimulating quality, administered atfirst in teaspoonfuls and afterwards in increasing doses, and ofwhich Miss Miggs herself partook as a preventive measure (forfainting is infectious); after all these remedies, and many moretoo numerous to mention, but not to take, had been applied; andmany verbal consolations, moral, religious, and miscellaneous, hadbeen super-added thereto; the locksmith humbled himself, and theend was gained.
"If it"s only for the sake of peace and quietness, father," saidDolly, urging him to go upstairs.
"Oh, Doll, Doll," said her good-natured father. "If you ever havea husband of your own--"
Dolly glanced at the glass.
"--Well, WHEN you have," said the locksmith, "never faint, mydarling. More domestic unhappiness has come of easy fainting,Doll, than from all the greater passions put together. Rememberthat, my dear, if you would be really happy, which you never canbe, if your husband isn"t. And a word in your ear, my precious.
Never have a Miggs about you!"
With this advice he kissed his blooming daughter on the cheek, andslowly repaired to Mrs Varden"s room; where that lady, lying allpale and languid on her couch, was refreshing herself with a sightof her last new bonnet, which Miggs, as a means of calming herscattered spirits, displayed to the best advantage at her bedside.
"Here"s master, mim," said Miggs. "Oh, what a happiness it iswhen man and wife come round again! Oh gracious, to think that himand her should ever have a word together!" In the energy of thesesentiments, which were uttered as an apostrophe to the Heavens in general, Miss Miggs perched the bonnet on the top of her own head,and folding her hands, turned on her tears.
"I can"t help it," cried Miggs. "I couldn"t, if I was to bedrownded in "em. She has such a forgiving spirit! She"ll forgetall that has passed, and go along with you, sir--Oh, if it was tothe world"s end, she"d go along with you."
Mrs Varden with a faint smile gently reproved her attendant forthis enthusiasm, and reminded her at the same time that she was fartoo unwell to venture out that day.