Chapter 19
In those first days of the siege, when the Yankees crashed here andthere against the defenses of the city, Scarlett was so frightened by the bursting shells she could only cower helplessly, her hands over her ears, expecting every moment to be blown into eternity. When she heard the whistling screams that heralded their approach, she rushed to Melanie's room and flung herself on the bed beside her, and the two clutched each other, screaming“Oh!Oh!”as they buried their heads in the pillows.Prissy and Wade scurried for the cellar and crouched in the cobwebbed darkness, Prissy squalling at the top of her voice and Wade sobbing and hiccoughing.
Suffocating under feather pillows while death screamed overhead, Scarlettsilently cursed Melanie for keeping her from the safer regions below stairs. But the doctor had forbidden Melanie to walk and Scarlett had to stay with her.Added to her terror of being blown to pieces was her equally active terror that Melanie's baby might arrive at any moment.Sweat broke out on Scarlett with clammy dampness, whenever this thought entered her mind.What would she do if the baby started coming?She knew she'd rather let Melanie die than go out on the streets to hunt for the doctor when the shells were falling like April rain.And she knew Prissy could be beaten to death before she would venture forth.What would she do if the baby came?
These matters she discussed with Prissy in whispers one evening, as they prepared Melanie's supper tray, and Prissy, surprisingly enough, calmed her fears.
“Miss Scarlett, effen we kain git de doctah w'en Miss Melly's time come, doan you bodder. Ah kin manage.Ah knows all‘bout birthin'.Ain'mah ma a midwife?Ain'she raise me ter be a midwife, too?Jes’you leave it ter me.”
Scarlett breathed more easily knowing that experienced hands were near, but she nevertheless yearned to have the ordeal over and done with. Mad to be away from exploding shells, desperate to get home to the quiet of Tara, she prayed every night that the baby would arrive the next day, so she would be released from her promise and could leave Atlanta.Tara seemed so safe, so far away from all this misery.
Scarlett longed for home and her mother as she had never longed for anything in all her life. If she were just near Ellen she wouldn't be afraid, no matter what happened.Every night after a day of screeching, earsplitting shells, she went to bed determined to tell Melanie the next morning that she could not stand Atlanta another day, that she would have to go home and Melanie would have to go to Mrs.Meade's.But, as she lay on her pillow, there always rose the memory of Ashley's face as it had looked when she last saw him, drawn as with an inner pain but with a smile on his lips:“You'll take care of Melanie, won't you?You're so strong……Promise me.”And she had promised.Some-where, Ashley lay dead.Wherever he was, he was watching her, holding her to that promise.Living or dead, she could not fail him, no matter what the cost.So she remained day after day.
In response to Ellen's letters, pleading with her to come home, she wrote minimizing the dangers of the siege, explaining Melanie's predicament and promising to come as soon as the baby was born. Ellen, sensitive to the bonds of kin, be they blood or marriage, wrote back reluctantly agreeing that she must stay but demanding that Wade and Prissy be sent home immediately.This suggestion met with the complete approval of Prissy, who was now reduced to teeth-chattering idiocy at every unexpected sound.She spent so much time crouching in the cellar that the girls would have fared badly but for Mrs.Meade's stolid old Betsy.
Scarlett was as anxious as her mother to have Wade out of Atlanta, not only for the child's safety, but because his constant fear irritated her. Wade was terrified to speechlessness by the shelling, and even when lulls came he clung to Scarlett's skirts, too terrified to cry.He was afraid to go to bed at night, afraid of the dark, afraid to sleep lest the Yankees should come and get him, and the sound of his soft nervous whimpering in the night grated unendurably on her nerves.Secretly she was just as frightened as he was, but it angered her to be reminded of it every minute by his tense, drawn face.Yes, Tara was the place for Wade.Prissy should take him there and return immediately to be present when the baby came.
But before Scarlett could start the two on their homeward journey, news came that the Yankees had swung to the south and were skirmishing along the railroad between Atlanta and Jonesboro. Suppose the Yankees should capture the train on which Wade and Prissy were riding—Scarlett and Melanie turned pale at the thought, for everyone knew that Yankee atrocities on helpless children were even more dreadful than on women.So she feared to send him home and he remained in Atlanta, a frightened, silent little ghost, pattering about desperately after his mother, fearing to have her skirt out of his hand for even a minute.
The siege went on through the hot days of July, thundering days following nights of sullen, ominous stillness, and the town began to adjust itself. It was as though, the worst having happened, they had nothing more to fear.They had feared a siege and now they had a siege and, after all, it wasn't so bad.Life could and did go on almost as usual.They knew they were sitting on a volcano, but until that volcano erupted there was nothing they could do.So why worry now?And probably it wouldn't erupt anyway.Just look how General Hood is holding the Yankees out of the city!And see how the cavalry is holding the railroad to Macon!Sherman will never take it!