Elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself.She now found, that in spite of herself, she had always admitted a hope, while Edward remained single, that something would occur to prevent his marrying Lucy; that some resolution of his own, some mediation of friends, or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the lady, would arise to assist the happiness of all.But he was now married;and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery, which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence.
That he should be married soon, before (as she imagined)he could be in orders, and consequently before he could be in possession of the living, surprised her a little at first.But she soon saw how likely it was that Lucy, in her self-provident care, in her haste to secure him, should overlook every thing but the risk of delay.
They were married, married in town, and now hastening down to her uncle's.What had Edward felt on being within four miles from Barton, on seeing her mother's servant, on hearing Lucy's message!
They would soon, she supposed, be settled at Delaford.--Delaford,--that place in which so much conspired to give her an interest; which she wished to be acquainted with, and yet desired to avoid.
She saw them in an instant in their parsonage-house; saw in Lucy, the active, contriving manager, uniting at once a desire of smart appearance with the utmost frugality, and ashamed to be suspected of half her economical practices;--pursuing her own interest in every thought, courting the favour of Colonel Brandon, of Mrs.Jennings, and of every wealthy friend.In Edward--she knew not what she saw, nor what she wished to see;--happy or unhappy,--nothing pleased her; she turned away her head from every sketch of him.
Elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in London would write to them to announce the event, and give farther particulars,--but day after day passed off, and brought no letter, no tidings.
Though uncertain that any one were to blame, she found fault with every absent friend.They were all thoughtless or indolent.
"When do you write to Colonel Brandon, ma'am?"was an inquiry which sprung from the impatience of her mind to have something going on.
"I wrote to him, my love, last week, and rather expect to see, than to hear from him again.I earnestly pressed his coming to us, and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow, or any day."This was gaining something, something to look forward to.
Colonel Brandon must have some information to give.
Scarcely had she so determined it, when the figure of a man on horseback drew her eyes to the window.
He stopt at their gate.It was a gentleman, it was Colonel Brandon himself.Now she could hear more;and she trembled in expectation of it.But--it was NOT Colonel Brandon--neither his air--nor his height.
Were it possible, she must say it must be Edward.
She looked again.He had just dismounted;--she could not be mistaken,--it WAS Edward.She moved away and sat down.