书城公版MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT
19790300000147

第147章

Mr. Kettle bowed.

`In the name of this company, sir, and in the name of our common country, and in the name of that righteous cause of holy sympathy in which we are engaged, I thank you. I thank you, sir, in the name of the Watertoast Sympathisers; and I thank you, sir, in the name of the Watertoast Gazette; and I thank you, sir, in the name of the starspangled banner of the Great United States, for your eloquent and categorical exposition. And if, sir,' said the speaker, poking Martin with the handle of his umbrella to bespeak his attention, for he was listening to a whisper from Mark; `if, sir, in such a place, and at such a time, I might venture to con-clude with a sentiment, glancing -- however slantin'dicularly -- at the subject in hand, I would say, sir may the British Lion have his talons eradicated by the noble bill of the American Eagle, and be taught to play upon the Irish Harp and the Scotch Fiddle that music which is breathed in every empty shell that lies upon the shores of green Co-lumbia!'

Here the lank gentleman sat down again, amidst a great sensation; and every one looked very grave.

`General Choke,' said Mr. La Fayette Kettle, `you warm my heart; sir, you warm my heart. But the British Lion is not unrepresented here, sir; and I should be glad to hear his answer to those remarks.'

`Upon my word,' cried Martin, laughing, `since you do me the honour to consider me his representative, I have only to say that I never heard of Queen Victoria reading the What's-his-name Gazette and that I should scarcely think it probable.'

General Choke smiled upon the rest, and said, in patient and benignant explanation:

`It is sent to her, sir. It is sent to her. Per mail.'

`But if it is addressed to the Tower of London, it would hardly come to hand, I fear,' returned Martin, `for she don't live there.'

`The Queen of England, gentlemen,' observed Mr. Tapley, affecting the greatest politeness, and regarding them with an immovable face, `usually lives in the Mint to take care of the money. She has lodgings, in virtue of her office, with the Lord Mayor at the Mansion House; but don't often occupy them, in consequence of the parlour chimney smoking.'

`Mark,' said Martin, `I shall be very much obliged to you if you'll have the goodness not to interfere with preposterous statements however jocose they may appear to you. I was merely remarking gentlemen -- though it's a point of very little import -- that the Queen of England does not happen to live in the Tower of London.'

`General!' cried Mr. La Fayette Kettle. `You hear?'

`General!' echoed several others. `General!'

`Hush! Pray, silence!' said General Choke, holding up his hand, and speaking with a patient and complacent benevolence that was quite touching.

`I have always remarked it as a very extraordinary circumstance, which I impute to the natur' of British Institutions and their tendency to suppress that popular inquiry and information which air so widely diffused even in the trackless forests of this vast Continent of the Western Ocean; that the knowledge of Britishers themselves on such points is not to be compared with that possessed by our intelligent and locomotive citizens. This is interesting, and confirms my observation. When you say, sir,' he continued, addressing Martin, `that your Queen does not reside in the Tower of London, you fall into an error, not uncommon to your countrymen, even when their abilities and moral elements air such as to command respect. But, sir, you air wrong. She does live there.'

`When she is at the Court of Saint James's;' interposed Kettle.

`When she is at the Court of Saint James's, of course,' returned the General, in the same benignant way: `for if her location was in Windsor Pavilion it couldn't be in London at the same time. Your Tower of London, sir,' pursued the General, smiling with a mild consciousness of his knowledge, `is nat'rally your royal residence. Being located in the immediate neighbourhood of your Parks, your Drives, your Triumphant Arches, your opera, and your Royal Almacks, it nat'rally suggests itself as the place for bolding a luxurious and thoughtless court. And, consequently,' said the General, `consequently, the court is held there.'

`Have you been in England?' asked Martin.

`In print I have, sir,' said the General, `not otherwise. We air a reading people here, sir. You will meet with much information among us that will surprise you, sir.'

`I have not the least doubt of it,' returned Martin. But here he was interrupted by Mr. La Fayette Kettle, who whispered in his ear:

`You know General Choke?'

`No,' returned Martin, in the same tone.

`You know what he is considered?'

`One of the most remarkable men in the country?' said Martin, at a venture.

`That's a fact,' rejoined Kettle. `I was sure you must have heard of him!'

`I think,' said Martin, addressing himself to the General again, `that I have the pleasure of being the bearer of a letter of introduction to you, sir. From Mr. Bevan, of Massachusetts,' he added, giving it to him.

The General took it and read it attentively: now and then stopping to glance at the two strangers. When he had finished the note, he came over to Martin, sat down by him, and shook hands.

`Well!' he said, `and you think of settling in Eden?'

`Subject to your opinion, and the agent's advice,' replied Martin. `I am told there is nothing to be done in the old towns.'

`I can introduce you to the agent, sir,' said the General. `I know him.

In fact, I am a member of the Eden Land Corporation myself.'

This was serious news to Martin, for his friend had laid great stress upon the General's having no connexion, as he thought, with any land company, and therefore being likely to give him disinterested advice. The General explained that he had joined the Corporation only a few weeks ago, and that no communication had passed between himself and Mr. Bevan since.