ROWLEY.Mr.Surface--your Servant: I was apprehensive of interrupting you, tho' my Business demands immediate attention--as this Note will inform you----
SURFACE.Always Happy to see Mr.Rowley--how--Oliver--Surface!--My Unkle arrived!
ROWLEY.He is indeed--we have just parted--quite well--after a speedy voyage--and impatient to embrace his worthy Nephew.
SURFACE.I am astonished!--William[!] stop Mr.Stanley, if He's not gone----ROWLEY.O--He's out of reach--I believe.
SURFACE.Why didn't you let me know this when you came in together.--ROWLEY.I thought you had particular--Business--but must be gone to inform your Brother, and appoint him here to meet his Uncle.
He will be with you in a quarter of an hour----SURFACE.So he says.Well--I am strangely overjoy'd at his coming--never to be sure was anything so damn'd unlucky!
ROWLEY.You will be delighted to see how well He looks.
SURFACE.O--I'm rejoiced to hear it--just at this time----ROWLEY.I'll tell him how impatiently you expect him----SURFACE.Do--do--pray--give my best duty and affection--indeed, I cannot express the sensations I feel at the thought of seeing him!--certainly his coming just at this Time is the cruellest piece of ill Fortune----[Exeunt.]
SCENE II.--At SIR PETER'S House Enter MRS.CANDOUR and SERVANTSERVANT.Indeed Ma'am, my Lady will see nobody at Present.
MRS.CANDOUR.Did you tell her it was her Friend Mrs.Candour----SERVANT.Yes Ma'am but she begs you will excuse her----MRS.CANDOUR.Do go again--I shall be glad to see her if it be only for a moment--for I am sure she must be in great Distress [exit MAID]
--Dear Heart--how provoking!--I'm not mistress of half the circumstances!--We shall have the whole affair in the newspapers with the Names of the Parties at length before I have dropt the story at a dozen houses.
Enter SIR BENJAMIN
Sir Benjamin you have heard, I suppose----SIR BENJAMIN.Of Lady Teazle and Mr.Surface----MRS.CANDOUR.And Sir Peter's Discovery----SIR BENJAMIN.O the strangest Piece of Business to be sure----MRS.CANDOUR.Well I never was so surprised in my life!--I am so sorry for all Parties--indeed, SIR BENJAMIN.Now I don't Pity Sir Peter at all--he was so extravagant--partial to Mr.Surface----MRS.CANDOUR.Mr.Surface!--why 'twas with Charles Lady Teazle was detected.
SIR BENJAMIN.No such thing Mr.Surface is the gallant.
MRS.CANDOUR.No--no--Charles is the man--'twas Mr.Surface brought Sir Peter on purpose to discover them----SIR BENJAMIN.I tell you I have it from one----MRS.CANDOUR.And I have it from one----SIR BENJAMIN.Who had it from one who had it----MRS.CANDOUR.From one immediately--but here comes Lady Sneerwell--perhaps she knows the whole affair.
Enter LADY SNEERWELL
LADY SNEERWELL.So--my dear Mrs.Candour Here's a sad affair of our Friend Teazle----MRS.CANDOUR.Aye my dear Friend, who could have thought it.
LADY SNEERWELL.Well there is no trusting to appearances[;] tho'--indeed she was always too lively for me.
MRS.CANDOUR.To be sure, her manners were a little too--free--but she was very young----
LADY SNEERWELL.And had indeed some good Qualities.
MRS.CANDOUR.So she had indeed--but have you heard the Particulars?
LADY SNEERWELL.No--but everybody says that Mr.Surface----SIR BENJAMIN.Aye there I told you--Mr.Surface was the Man.
MRS.CANDOUR.No--no--indeed the assignation was with Charles----LADY SNEERWELL.With Charles!--You alarm me Mrs.Candour!
MRS.CANDOUR.Yes--yes He was the Lover--Mr.Surface--do him justice--was only the Informer.
SIR BENJAMIN.Well I'll not dispute with you Mrs.Candour--but be it which it may--I hope that Sir Peter's wound will not----MRS.CANDOUR.Sir Peter's wound! O mercy! I didn't hear a word of their Fighting----LADY SNEERWELL.Nor I a syllable!
SIR BENJAMIN.No--what no mention of the Duel----MRS.CANDOUR.Not a word--
SIR BENJAMIN.O, Lord--yes--yes--they fought before they left the Room.
LADY SNEERWELL.Pray let us hear.
MRS.CANDOUR.Aye--do oblige--us with the Duel----SIR BENJAMIN.'Sir'--says Sir Peter--immediately after the Discovery, 'you are a most ungrateful Fellow.'
MRS.CANDOUR.Aye to Charles----
SIR BENJAMIN.No, no--to Mr.Surface--'a most ungrateful Fellow;and old as I am, Sir,' says He, 'I insist on immediate satisfaction.'
MRS.CANDOUR.Aye that must have been to Charles for 'tis very unlikely Mr.Surface should go to fight in his own House.
SIR BENJAMIN.Gad's Life, Ma'am, not at all--giving me immediate satisfaction--on this, Madam--Lady Teazle seeing Sir Peter in such Danger--ran out of the Room in strong Hysterics--and Charles after her calling out for Hartshorn and Water! Then Madam--they began to fight with Swords----Enter CRABTREE
CRABTREE.With Pistols--Nephew--I have it from undoubted authority.
MRS.CANDOUR.Oh, Mr.Crabtree then it is all true----CRABTREE.Too true indeed Ma'am, and Sir Peter Dangerously wounded----SIR BENJAMIN.By a thrust in second--quite thro' his left side CRABTREE.By a Bullet lodged in the Thorax----MRS.CANDOUR.Mercy--on me[!] Poor Sir Peter----CRABTREE.Yes, ma'am tho' Charles would have avoided the matter if he could----MRS.CANDOUR.I knew Charles was the Person----SIR BENJAMIN.O my Unkle I see knows nothing of the matter----CRABTREE.But Sir Peter tax'd him with the basest ingratitude----SIR BENJAMIN.That I told you, you know----CRABTREE.Do Nephew let me speak--and insisted on immediate----SIR BENJAMIN.Just as I said----