"Was any one old in those days？ It is the Revolution which brought old age into the world， Your grandfather， my child，[44] was handsome， elegant， neat， gracious， perfumed， playful， amiable， affectionate， and good-tempered to the day of his death. People then knew how to live and how to die； there was no such thing as troublesome infirmities. If any one had the gout， 'he walked along all the same and made no faces；people well brought up concealed their sufferings. There was none of that absorption in business which spoils a man inwardly and dulls his brain. People knew how to ruin themselves without letting it appear， like good gamblers who lose their money without showing uneasiness or spite. A man would be carried half dead to a hunt. It was thought better to die at a ball or at the play than in one's bed， between four wax candles and horrid men in black. People were philosophers； they did not assume to be austere， but often were so without making a display of it. If one was discreet， it was through inclination and without pedantry or prudishness. People enjoyed this life， and when the hour of departure came they did not try to disgust others with living. The last request of my old husband was that I would survive him as long as possible and live as happily as I could."When， especially， women are concerned it is not sufficient to be polite； it is important to be gallant. Each lady invited by the Prince de Conti to Ile-Adam "finds a carriage and horses at her disposal； she is free to give dinners every day in her own rooms to her own friends."[45] Mme. de Civrac having to go to the springs， her friends undertake to divert her on the journey； they keep ahead of her a few posts， and， at every place where she rests for the night， they give her a little féte champêtre disguised as villagers and in bourgeois attire， with bailiff and scrivener， and other masks all singing and reciting verses. A lady on the eve of Longchamp， knowing that the Vicomte de V - possesses two calèches， makes a request for one of them； it is disposed of； but he is careful not to decline， and immediately has one of the greatest elegance purchased to lend it for three hours； he is only too happy that anybody should wish to borrow from him， his prodigality appearing amiable but not astonishing.[46]
The reason is that women then were queens in the drawing-room； it is their right； this is the reason why， in the eighteenth century， they prescribe the law and the fashion in all things.[47] Having formed the code of usages， it is quite natural that they should profit by it， and see that all its prescriptions are carried out. In this respect any circle "of the best company " is a superior tribunal， serving as a court of last appeal.[48] The Maréchale de Luxembourg is an authority；there is no point of manners which she does not justify with an ingenious argument. Any expression， any neglect of the standard， the slightest sign of pretension or of vanity incurs her disapprobation， from which there is no appeal， and the delinquent is for ever banished from refined society. Any subtle observation， any well-timed silence， an " oh" uttered in an appropriate place instead of an " Ah，" secures from her， as from M. Talleyrand， a diploma of good breeding which is the commencement of fame and the promise of a fortune. Under such an "instructress" it is evident that deportment， gesture， language， every act or omission in this mundane sphere， becomes， like a picture or poem， a veritable work of art； that is to say， infinite in refinement， at once studied and easy， and so harmonious in its details that its perfection conceals the difficulty of combining them.
A great lady "receives ten persons with one courtesy， bestowing on each， through the head or by a glance， all that he is entitled to；"[49] meaning by this the shade of regard due to each phase of position， consideration， and birth. "She has always to deal with easily irritated amour-propres； consequently the slightest deficiency in proportion would be promptly detected，"[50] But she is never mistaken， and never hesitates in these subtle distinctions； with incomparable tact， dexterity， and flexibility of tone， she regulates the degrees of her welcome. She has one "for women of condition， one for women of quality， one for women of the court， one for titled women， one for women of historic names， another for women of high birth personally， but married to men beneath them； another for women who by marriage have changed a common into a distinguished name；another still for women of reputable names in the law； and， finally， another for those whose relief consists chiefly of expensive houses and good suppers." A stranger would be amazed on seeing with what certain and adroit steps she circulates among so many watchful vanities without ever hurting or being hurt. "She knows how to express all through the style of her salutations； a varied style， extending through imperceptible gradations， from the accessory of a single shrug of the shoulder， almost an impertinence， to that noble and deferential reverence which so few women， even of the court， know how to do well；that slow bending forward， with lowered eyes and straightened figure， gradually recovering and modestly glancing at the person while gracefully raising the body up， altogether much more refined and more delicate than words， but very expressive as the means of manifesting respect." - This is but a single action， and very common； there are a hundred others， and of importance. Imagine， if it is possible， the degree of elegance and perfection to which they attained through good breeding. I select one at random， a duel between two princes of the blood， the Comte d'Artois and the Duc de Bourbon； the latter being the offended party， the former， his superior， had to offer him a meeting[51]， "As soon as the Comte d'Artois saw him he leaped to the ground， and walking directly up to him， said to him smiling：