"Here at Paris，" writes Mme. d'Oberkirk， "I am no longer my own mistress. I scarcely have time to talk with my husband and to answer my letters. I do not know what women do that are accustomed to lead this life； they certainly have no families to look after， nor children to educate." At all events they act as if they had none， and the men likewise. Married people not living together live but rarely with their children， and the causes that disintegrate wedlock also disintegrate the family. In the first place there is the aristocratic tradition， which interposes a barrier between parents and children with a view to maintain a respectful distance. Although enfeebled and about to disappear，[34] this tradition still subsists. The son says "Monsieur" to his father； the daughter comes "respectfully" to kiss her mother's hand at her toilet. A caress is rare and seems a favor；children generally， when with their parents， are silent， the sentiment that usually animates them being that of deferential timidity. At one time they were regarded as so many subjects， and up to a certain point they are so still； while the new exigencies of worldly life place them or keep them effectually aside. M. de Talleyrand stated that he had never slept under the same roof with his father and mother. And if they do sleep there， they are not the less neglected. "I was entrusted，" says the Count de Tilly， "to valets； and to a kind of preceptor resembling these in more respects than one." During this time his father ran after women. "I have known him，" adds the young man， "to have mistresses up to an advanced age； he was always adoring them and constantly abandoning them." The Duc de Lauzun finds it difficult to obtain a good tutor for his son； for this reason the latter writes， "he conferred the duty on one of my late mother's lackeys who could read and write tolerably well， and to whom the title of valet-de-chambre was given to insure greater consideration. They gave me the most fashionable teachers besides； but M. Roch (which was my mentor's name) was not qualified to arrange their lessons， or to qualify me to benefit by them. I was， moreover， like all the children of my age and of my station， dressed in the handsomest clothes to go out， and naked and dying with hunger in the house，"[35] and not through unkindness， but through household oversight， dissipation， and disorder， attention being given to things elsewhere. One might easily count the fathers who， like the Marshal de Belle-Isle， brought up their sons under their own eyes， and themselves attended to their education methodically， strictly， and with tenderness. As to the girls， they were placed in convents； relieved from this care， their parents only enjoy the greater freedom. Even when they retain charge of them they are scarcely more of a burden to them. Little Fé1icité de Saint-Aubin[36] sees her parents "only on their waking up and at meal times." Their day is wholly taken up； the mother is making or receiving visits； the father is in his laboratory or engaged in hunting. Up to seven years of age the child passes her time with chambermaids who teach her only a little catechism， "with an infinite number of ghost stories." About this time she is taken care of； but in a way which well portrays the epoch. The Marquise， her mother， the author of mythological and pastoral operas， has a theater built in the chateau； a great crowd of company resorts to it from Bourbon-Lancy and Moulins； after rehearsing twelve weeks the little girl， with a quiver of arrows and blue wings， plays the part of Cupid， and the costume is so becoming she is allowed to wear it in common during the entire day for nine months. To finish the business they send for a dancing-fencing master， and， still wearing the Cupid costume， she takes lessons in fencing and in deportment. "The entire winter is devoted to playing comedy and tragedy." Sent out of the room after dinner， she is brought in again only to play on the harpsichord or to declaim the monologue of Alzire before a numerous assembly. Undoubtedly such extravagances are not customary； but the spirit of education is everywhere the same； that is to say， in the eyes of parents there is but one intelligible and rational existence， that of society， even for children， and the attentions bestowed on these are solely with a view to introduce them into it or to prepare them for it. Even in the last years of the ancient régime[37] little boys have their hair powdered， "a pomatumed chignon (bourse)， ringlets， and curls"； they wear the sword， the chapeau under the arm， a frill， and a coat with gilded cuffs； they kiss young ladies' hands with the air of little dandies. Alass of six years is bound up in a whalebone waist； her large hoop-petticoat supports a skirt covered with wreaths； she wears on her head a skillful combination of false curls， puffs， and knots， fastened with pins， and crowned with plumes， and so high that frequently "the chin is half way down to her feet"； sometimes they put rouge on her face.
