HASTINGS. Thou dear dissembler! You must know, my Constance, I have just seized this happy opportunity of my friend's visit here to get admittance into the family. The horses that carried us down are now fatigued with their journey, but they'll soon be refreshed; and then, if my dearest girl will trust in her faithful Hastings, we shall soon be landed in France, where even among slaves the laws of marriage are respected.
MISS NEVILLE. I have often told you, that though ready to obey you, I yet should leave my little fortune behind with reluctance. The greatest part of it was left me by my uncle, the India director, and chiefly consists in jewels. I have been for some time persuading my aunt to let me wear them. I fancy I'm very near succeeding. The instant they are put into my possession, you shall find me ready to make them and myself yours.
HASTINGS. Perish the baubles! Your person is all I desire. In the mean time, my friend Marlow must not be let into his mistake. I know the strange reserve of his temper is such, that if abruptly informed of it, he would instantly quit the house before our plan was ripe for execution.
MISS NEVILLE. But how shall we keep him in the deception? Miss Hardcastle is just returned from walking; what if we still continue to deceive him?----This, this way----[They confer.]
Enter MARLOW.
MARLOW. The assiduities of these good people teaze me beyond bearing. My host seems to think it ill manners to leave me alone, and so he claps not only himself, but his old-fashioned wife, on my back. They talk of coming to sup with us too; and then, I suppose, we are to run the gantlet through all the rest of the family.--What have we got here?
HASTINGS. My dear Charles! Let me congratulate you!--The most fortunate accident!--Who do you think is just alighted?
MARLOW.Cannot guess.
HASTINGS. Our mistresses, boy, Miss Hardcastle and Miss Neville. Give me leave to introduce Miss Constance Neville to your acquaintance. Happening to dine in the neighbourhood, they called on their return to take fresh horses here. Miss Hardcastle has just stept into the next room, and will be back in an instant. Wasn't it lucky?eh!
MARLOW. (Aside.) I have been mortified enough of all conscience, and here comes something to complete my embarrassment.
HASTINGS. Well, but wasn't it the most fortunate thing in the world?
MARLOW. Oh! yes. Very fortunate--a most joyful encounter--But our dresses, George, you know are in disorder--What if we should postpone the happiness till to-morrow?--To-morrow at her own house--It will be every bit as convenient--and rather more respectful--To-morrow let it be. [Offering to go.]
MISS NEVILLE. By no means, sir. Your ceremony will displease her. The disorder of your dress will show the ardour of your impatience. Besides, she knows you are in the house, and will permit you to see her.
MARLOW. O! the devil! how shall I support it? Hem! hem! Hastings, you must not go. You are to assist me, you know. I shall be confoundedly ridiculous. Yet, hang it! I'll take courage. Hem!
HASTINGS. Pshaw, man! it's but the first plunge, and all's over. She's but a woman, you know.
etc.
MARLOW.And, of all women, she that I dread most to encounter. Enter MISS HARDCASTLE, as returned from walking, a bonnet,HASTINGS.(Introducing them.)Miss Hardcastle, Mr. Marlow.
I'm proud of bringing two persons of such merit together, that only want to know, to esteem each other.
MISS HARDCASTLE. (Aside.) Now for meeting my modest gentleman with a demure face, and quite in his own manner. (After a pause, in which he appears very uneasy and disconcerted.) I'm glad of your safe arrival, sir.I'm told you had some accidents by the way.
MARLOW. Only a few, madam. Yes, we had some. Yes, madam, a good many accidents, but should be sorry--madam--or rather glad of any accidents--that are so agreeably concluded. Hem!
HASTINGS. (To him.) You never spoke better in your whole life. Keep it up, and I'll insure you the victory.
MISS HARDCASTLE. I'm afraid you flatter, sir. You that have seen so much of the finest company, can find little entertainment in an obscure corner of the country.
MARLOW. (Gathering courage.) I have lived, indeed, in the world, madam; but I have kept very little company. I have been but an observer upon life, madam, while others were enjoying it.
MISS NEVILLE.But that, I am told, is the way to enjoy it at last. HASTINGS.(To him.)Cicero never spoke better.Once more,and you are confirmed in assurance for ever.
MARLOW. (To him.) Hem! Stand by me, then, and when I'm down, throw in a word or two, to set me up again.
MISS HARDCASTLE. An observer, like you, upon life were, I fear, disagreeably employed, since you must have had much more to censure than to approve.
MARLOW. Pardon me, madam. I was always willing to be amused. The folly of most people is rather an object of mirth than uneasiness.
HASTINGS. (To him.) Bravo, bravo. Never spoke so well in your whole life.Well, Miss Hardcastle, I see that you and Mr. Marloware going to be very good company.I believe our being here will but embarrass the interview.
MARLOW. Not in the least, Mr. Hastings. We like your company of all things. (To him.) Zounds! George, sure you won't go? how can you leave us?
HASTINGS. Our presence will but spoil conversation, so we'll retire to the next room. (To him.) You don't consider, man, that we are to manage a little tete-a-tete of our own. [Exeunt.]
MISS HARDCASTLE. (after a pause). But you have not been wholly an observer, I presume, sir: the ladies, I should hope, have employed some part of your addresses.
MARLOW. (Relapsing into timidity.) Pardon me, madam, I--I--I-- as yet have studied--only--to--deserve them.
MISS HARDCASTLE. And that, some say, is the very worst way to obtain them.
MARLOW. Perhaps so, madam. But I love to converse only with the more grave and sensible part of the sex. But I'm afraid I grow tiresome.