I liv'd in this Condition near two Years more;but my unlucky Head,that was always to let me know it was born to make my Body miserable,was all this two Years fill'd with Projects and Designs,how,if it were possible,I might get away from this Island;for sometimes I was for making another Voyage to the Wreck,though my Reason told me that there was nothing left there,worth the Hazard of my Voyage:Sometimes for a Ramble one way,sometimes another;and I believe verily,if I had had the Boat that I went from Sallee in,I should have ventur'd to Sea,bound any where,I knew not whither.
I have been in all my Circumstances a Memento to those who are touch'd with the general Plague of Mankind,whence,for ought I know,one half of their Miseries flow;I mean,that of not being satisfy'd with the Station wherein God and Nature has plac'd them;for not to look back upon my primitive Condition,and the excellent Advice of my Father,the Opposition to which,was,as I may call it,my ORIGINAL SIN;my subsequent Mistakes of the same kind had been the Means of my coming into this miserable Condition;for had that Providence,which so happily had seated me at the Brasils,as a Planter,bless'd me with confin'd Desires,and I could have been contented to have gone on gradually,I might have been by this Time;I mean,in the Time of my being in this Island,one of the most considerable Planters in the Brasils,nay,I am perswaded,that by the Improvements I had made,in that little Time I liv'd there,and the Encrease I should probably have made,if I had stay'd,I might have been worth an hundred thousand Moydors;and what Business had I to leave a settled Fortune,a well stock'd Plantation,improving and encreasing,to turn Supra-Cargo to Guinea,to fetch Negroes;when Patience and Time would have so encreas'd our Stock at Home,that we could have bought them at our own Door,from those whose Business it was to fetch them;and though it had cost us something more,yet the Difference of that Price was by no Means worth saving,at so great a Hazard.
But as this is ordinarily the Fate of young Heads,so Reflection upon the Folly of it,is as ordinarily the Exercise of more years,or of the dear bought Experience of Time;and so it was with me now;and yet so deep had the Mistake taken root in my Temper,that I could not satisfy my self in my Station,but was continually poring upon the Means,and Possibility of my Escape from this Place;and that I may with the greater Pleasure to the Reader,bring on the remaining Part of my Story,it may not be improper,to give some Account of my first Conceptions on the Subject of this foolish Scheme,for my Escape;and how,and upon what Foundation I acted.
I am now to be suppos'd retir'd into my Castle,after my late Voyage to the Wreck,my Frigate laid up,and secur'd under Water,as usual,and my Condition restor'd to what it was before:I had more Wealth indeed than I had before,but was not at all the richer;for I had no more use for it,than the Indians of Peru had,before the Spaniards came there.
It was one of the Nights in the rainy Season in March,the four and twentieth Year of my first setting Foot in this Island of Solitariness;I was lying in my Bed,or Hammock,awake,very well in Health,had no Pain,no Distemper,no Uneasiness of Body;no,nor any Uneasiness of Mind,more than ordinary;but could by no means close my Eyes;that is,so as to sleep;no,not a Wink all Night long,otherwise than as follows:
It is as impossible,as needless,to set down the innumerable Crowd of Thoughts that whirl'd through that great thorow-fare of the Brain,the Memory,in this Night's Time:I run over the whole History of my Life in Miniature,or by Abridgment,as I may call it,to my coming to this Island;and also of the Part of my Life,since I came to this Island. In my Reflections upon the State of my Case,since I came on Shore on this Island,I was comparing the happy Posture of my Affairs,in the first Years of my Habitation here,compar'd to the Life of Anxiety,Fear and Care,which I had liv'd ever since I had seen the Print of a Foot in the Sand;not that I did not believe the Savages had frequented the Island even all the while,and might have been several Hundreds of them at Times on Shore there;but I had never known it,and was incapable of any Apprehensions about it;my Satisfaction was perfect,though my Danger was the same;and I was as happy in not knowing my Danger,as if I had never really been expos'd to it:This furnish'd my Thoughts with many very profitable Reflections,and particularly this one,How infinitely Good that Providence is,which has provided in its Government of Mankind,such narrow bounds to his Sight and Knowledge of Things,and though he walks in the midst of so many thousand Dangers,the Sight of which,if discover'd to him,would distract his Mind,and sink his Spirits;he is kept serene,and calm,by having the Events of Things hid from his Eyes,and knowing nothing of the Dangers which surround him.
After these Thoughts had for some Time entertain'd me,I came to reflect seriously upon the real Danger I had been In,for so many Years,in this very Island;and how I had walk'd about in the greatest Security,and with all possible Tranquillity;even when perhaps nothing but a Brow of a Hill,a great Tree,or the casual Approach of Night,had been between me and the worst kind of Destruction,viz. That of falling into the Hands of Cannibals,and Savages,who would have seiz'd on me with the same View,as I did of a Goat,or a Turtle;and have thought it no more a Crime to kill and devour me,than I did of a Pidgeon,or a Curlieu:I would unjustly slander my self,if I should say I was not sincerely thankful to my great Preserver,to whose singular Protection I acknowledg'd,with great Humility,that all these unknown Deliverances were due;and without which,I must inevitably have fallen into their merciless Hands.