书城英文图书长大不是一个人的事情
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第15章 前往闪亮的旧时光(5)

Looking at her,I was not disappointed. Her beauty had enhanced with age. Yet,something had changed,indeed. Yes! It was her eyes. Her large brown eyes did not dance so teasingly anymore. There was a trace of sadness a sense of tender poignancy in her liquid brown eye as she bid me her unspoken“good-bye”. Dumbstruck by the abruptness of the event and the enormity of the moment,I stood frozen like a statue,unable to react or say anything. It was only when she was leaving that I noticed that there was no Mangala sutra around her slender neck anymore.

东海岸的日出是一道特别的景观。我站在海豚鼻——一块向外延伸至孟加拉海湾的地方——观看太阳的上半边 缘冉冉升起在海平面上。当东边的天空开始如一朵巨大的花展开深红色的花瓣般逐渐红透时,我被一股浪漫的 感觉和怀旧之情征服了——如此清晰的记忆,并没有因为近乎十年的光阴已经逝去这个事实而褪去。

那时,我还是一个年轻的单身汉,维萨卡帕特南市对我来说并没有太多好玩的东西。每个周日早晨,我习惯天 不亮就起床,前往海豚鼻,享受太阳从海面上庄严升起的壮丽景观。清新又有一丝咸味的海风不啻是一种万能 药,能够缓解周六晚上因尽情玩乐而引发的宿醉后的不适感。

在观看了日出时奇妙的变化以后,我会沿着陡峭的山路下行,走到一个遍布岩石的海滩,游一会儿泳。每次,我都注意到远处有一个居民区,里面有一座破旧的建筑物,人声沸沸扬扬。我通常都对它视而不见,但很奇怪 的是,有一天,我竟决定走过去看看。这是一个鲜鱼市场。大部分顾客都是附近居民楼里的家庭主妇。她们完 全是一副最糟糕的周日装扮——不施粉黛,衣着邋遢,脸也没洗,头发蓬乱——这与她们前一晚在夜店里那副 精心装扮的外表形成了鲜明的对比。

我很失望,正要离开时,我第一次看见了她。我停了下来,脑子里一片空白。她真是一个美人——个子高高的,肤若凝脂,带着浴后的清新。长而有亮泽的头发在她的肩上起舞。她有一双大而有神的褐色眼睛,分明的轮 廓在晨曦里更加清晰可见。我无从描述她在我内心唤起的感受。在我的一生中,我还是头一次由于强烈的渴望 而感到内心疼痛。我知道这是爱。然而,我心里清楚我已经没有机会了——她脖子上戴着用来护佑婚姻的幸运 项链。她结婚了——说不定还很幸福。然而,我不由地向她靠近,假装要买鱼。她警觉地朝我笑了笑,挑选了 两条鲳鱼,捞出水面递给我。我设法碰了碰她柔软的双手——犹如触了电一般,一阵战栗袭遍全身。她揶揄似 地转动双眸,无声地示意“再见”,然后脚步轻快地走了。我昏昏沉沉的,以至无法跟踪她,便回到自己的房 间,炸了鲳鱼做早餐。不用说,味道好极了。

不久,每个周日早上,我都带着近乎宗教般的虔诚做着相同的事。她从没有错过与我的相聚——相同的地点,相同的日子,分毫不差的时间,七点整。我们依旧没有说过一句话。我太害羞了,而她或许是希望一切止步于 此吧——一种美丽而缥缈的关系——这种爱如此微妙,以至一个错误的举动就可能毁掉一切。同时,我逐渐喜 欢上了炸鲳鱼——鉴于我之前从不吃鱼,这确实让我很吃惊。

时间一年一年地流逝,我离开了维萨卡帕特南市,周游世界。在异国他乡,我遇见过很多漂亮的女孩,但我从 没忘记她!初恋在男人的心里总占据着一个恒久的位置。

现在,近十年以后,我又回到了维萨卡帕特南市。当我沿着斜坡下山走向海滩,在我的脑海里,我依旧能生动 地回想起她脸上那顽皮而矜持的神情——她那温柔的微笑和会说话的眼睛——尽管十年已经过去了。我无法再 控制这不断堆积的兴奋和我心中的期望。我非常渴望能再见到她。尽管这个希望很渺茫,但我心中还是充满了 期待。到达海滩后,我注意到太阳已经完全跃出海平面了。我瞥了一眼手表——快七点了。我加快脚步,几乎 跑了起来,来到当年的鲜鱼市场,站在当年的位置上,那儿是我们过去常常在日出之时相聚的地方。

带着近乎焦虑的期待,我不住地颤抖,用双眼四处搜寻着。一切都没变。这个场景还和我十年前离开时一模一 样。只有一样东西不见了——她不在那里!倒霉透了!我感到很沮丧,大脑一片空白。我一动不动地站在那里,满怀忧郁。忽然,我感觉到那熟悉的触电似的触碰。同样的颤抖,熟悉的战栗。它闪电般把我飞快地拽回到 现实。当她把两条鲳鱼轻轻放到我手里时,我感觉自己如同飘上了七重天。

看着她,我并不失望。随着年龄的增长,她愈发美丽了。然而有什么东西的确已经改变了——是的!就是她的 眼睛。她那大大的褐色双眼不再顾盼生姿,饱含揶揄了。她的眼里有一丝悲苦。当她向我无声地示意“再见”时,她那水汪汪的褐色眼睛里流露出一种温柔的酸楚。我被这突如其来的一切震呆了,这一瞬间是如此长久,我像泥塑木雕一般站在那里,不能回应,说不出一句话来。只有当她离开时我才注意到,她那细细的脖子上不 再戴着那串用来护佑婚姻的幸运项链了。

horizon

【释义】n. [天] 地平线;视野;眼界;范围

【短语】endelss horizon无止境的见识;on the horizon 在地平线上

gigantic

【释义】adj. 巨大的,庞大的

【短语】a gigantic effort 巨大的努力

nostalgia

【释义】n. 乡愁;怀旧之情;怀乡病

【短语】nostalgia song 思乡曲

diminish

【释义】vt. 使减少;使变小 vi. 减少,缩小;变小

【短语】Diminish Chord 减和弦

majestically

【释义】adv. 雄伟地,庄严地;威严地

【短语】stand majestically 巍然屹立;rise majestically 傲然屹立

metamorphosis

【释义】n. 变形;变质

【短语】The Metamorphosis 《变形记》

lustrous

【释义】adj. 有光泽的;光辉的

【短语】lustrous candy 金丝糖;lustrous fibre 有光纤维

rendezvous

【释义】n. 约会;约会地点;集结地 vi. 会合 vt. 在指定地点与……相会

【短语】rendezvous point 汇集点;rendezvous with 与……汇集

ethereal

【释义】adj. 天上的;轻的;像空气的

【短语】Ethereal Burden 幻影负荷,幻象枷锁,轻巧负担

Hungry for Your Love/ 渴望你的爱

It is cold,so bitter cold,on this dark,winter day in 1942. But it is no different from any other day in this Nazi concentration camp. I stand shivering in my thin rags,still in disbelief that this nightmare is happening. I am just a young boy,and I am almost dead,surviving from day to day,from hour to hour,ever since I was brought here with tens of thousands other Jews.

Back and forth I walk next to the barbed wire fence,trying to keep my emaciated body warm. I am hungry,but I have been hungry for longer than I want to remember. I am always hungry. Edible food seems like a dream. Each day as more of us disappear,the happy past seems like a mere dream,and I sink deeper and deeper into despair. Suddenly,I notice a young girl walking past on the other side of the barbed wire. She stops and looks at me with sad eyes,eyes that seem to say that she understands,that she,too,cannot fathom why I am here. I want to look away,oddly ashamed for this stranger to see me like this,but I cannot tear my eyes from hers.

Then she reaches into her pocket,and pulls out a red apple. A beautiful,shiny red apple. She looks cautiously to the left and to the right,and then with a smile of triumph,quickly throws the apple over the fence. I run to pick it up,holding it in my trembling,frozen fingers. In my world of death,this apple is an expression of life,of love. I glance up in time to see the girl disappearing into the distance.

The next day,I cannot help myself-I am drawn at the same time to that spot near the fence. Am I crazy for hoping she will come again? Of course. But in here,I cling to any tiny scrap of hope. She has given me hope and I must hold tightly to it. And again,she comes. And again,she brings me an apple,flinging it over the fence with that same sweet smile.

This time I catch it,and hold it up for her to see. Her eyes twinkle. Does she pity me? Perhaps. I do not care,though. I am just so happy to gaze at her. And for the first time in so long,I feel my heart move with emotion. For seven months,we meet like this. Sometimes we exchange a few words. Sometimes,just an apple. But she is feeding more than my belly,this angel from heaven. She is feeding my soul. And somehow,I know I am feeding hers as well.

One day,I hear frightening news: we are being shipped to another camp. This could mean the end for me. And it definitely means the end for me and my friend. The next day when I greet her,my heart is breaking,and I can barely speak as I say what must be said:“Do not bring me an apple tomorrow,”I tell her.“I am being sent to another camp. We will never see each other again.” Turning before I lose all control,I run away from the fence. I cannot bear to look back. If I did,I know she would see me standing there,with tears streaming down my face.

Months pass and the nightmare continues. But the memory of this girl sustains me through the terror,the pain,the hopelessness. Over and over in my mind,I see her face,her kind eyes,I hear her gentle words,I taste those apples.